No Love Today

Not feeling the love today 😞

Although not as down as I sometimes get...it's definitely not there today. 

I'm not exactly sure what it is that makes me feel this way so early in the day. It's not as though anything has really happened to trigger this feeling. 

When is it just going to go away! When will things get better! How can I change my life to make it better! Why is it just so hard!!

Happiness - Making the most of what you have

Yes, I really do think that I spend far too much time analysing my life and thinking about all the things that I don't have. 

Yet, if I look up, just in front of my face, there's this wonderful array of beautiful and loving faces...this is my family, my husband and my 2 beautiful children. Oh, and of course, there's also the 'I'm so happy to see you' lick, lick, lick, adorable face of my nutty border collie, and our 'I'll love you when I feel it benefits me' sweet little Maltese-Shih Tzu. 

These little wonders, that mean so much, are the ones, unfortunately, that I seem to miss...just step right over ( well maybe it's more like steam roll right over!) and continue on my life thinking more about myself. 

Well its about time that these things changed and now is the time for it to happen more than ever!

13 March 2015

Well there's been quite a few backward steps in the journey. And this is not something I'm proud of!

The monster inside me has reawakened. Although I'm not too sure if it's ever been asleep!!

I just can't seem to shake this negative being that wells up inside me causing havoc and destruction to anything in its path, including the ones I love. 

I am aware of this and can clearly see what I do and the impact it has on my family. But why then does this not make me change my ways...

Is it because I feel bad so I want everyone else to feel bad?  Or Is it because I just don't care!! 

I should be a fun loving wife and mum who loves to spend time with her family, one who cherishes every single precious moment. 

So why is it so hard for my stupid brain to grab onto this concept of enjoying life!

Here are a couple of photos of much happier times when things didn't feel so complicated in my life.  This is how it should be now, instead of the wreck that hurricane Michelle leaves in her path!!

Fast Track to Destruction

Where does one stop on their fast lane to destruction...of one's own self and all those around them!! 

Toxic to everyone and to one's own self!!

That's exactly what I am 😞

I am so good at dragging everyone I love down down down!!!

Does there come a time in your life that you just admit defeat and realise that things are just not gonna be what you thought they would be?